I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
