We're like a lot better than the average bears
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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