party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I AM VODKA MAN
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
