I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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