singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
