you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
