We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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