She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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