Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
