Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
