Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
