another moral hangover. fuck.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
