She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
