It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
