he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
