Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Never underestimate the power of titties
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize