im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
