he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
