Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
