Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
