the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
