yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
