Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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