i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
