awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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