So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
