I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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