she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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