Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
