apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
