Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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