there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Randomize
