stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
