THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
