Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
