Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
