i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
