You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
