what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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