And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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