Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
