The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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