i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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