dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
My ass is underappreciated
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
