I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Someone signed my nipple.
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