like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
