My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
