why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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