i just google imaged poop.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
