Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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